I Know what you are going through- Humiliation

This is for those of you who are feeling humiliated today!

Let us first understand what you must be feeling:

• Insulted and Hurt
• Angry, Irritated
• Depressed
• Helpless
• Powerless
• Remembering other event where you felt humiliated in the past.

The following thoughts must be going on in your mind:

• This is not fair
• how dare they
• I will take revenge
• what will others think of me
• Is this why I had put in so much effort!
• I am fed up with the person, the situation and with my life, I cant take this any more
• Only if I were in xyz position, I would have set him/ her right. That person does not deserve the present position
• That person does not deserve my respect.

Lets try to understand why this anxiety and unrest are there in your mind:

Your dignity and honour are hurt. Your ego is hurt and you are feeling powerless, degraded and disrespected because you disagree with the humiliation. If you agreed it was your fault, you would feel ashamed but not humiliated. You are at the recieving end. You feel this way because in the process of being humiliated, three parties are involved:

1. Humiliator- Powerful

2. You the victim- powerless

3. Witness- Audience.

You feel powerless and helpless because you are in a relationship with the humiliateor, either at workplace or in your personal life. You feel you demonstrate lack of power in the relationship as a result of which vindictive thoughts emerge.

But you must remember- the situation is such because of 'YOUR' perception of it.- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"- Elenor Roosevelt.

Lets look at what can you do about it!

• Talk to a love done- it helps
• Stop blaming- it will only make you more vindictive and will harm you in the long run
• Speak to the humiliator. Do not react, talk it out- this prevents long term damage
• Remember, the audience will not judge you based on one event, their impression of you is based on a series of interactions.
• Practice humility- the truely humbe person cannot be humiliated- Donald Klein.
• Be confident of yourself. Do not let your self image be dependent on what others think of you.
• A thoughtful approach will prove benificial for you and the humiliator will not be successful in his/her intent.
• Learn to forgive because forgiveness is the best gift that you can give to yourself.

If you have other queries, write to me..........................